It seems everything I seem to enjoy, I end up forcing myself to quit. I really don't know why...? I was thinking about this while skiing and I was thinking, "ugh, I really want to quit this! this hurts really bad and I feel retarded and I'm pretty bad at this...!" then my thought pattern shifted to the fact that I keep forcing myself to quit things @_@.
Right now I'm thinking about SOTNW....I don't know if i have fun with it anymore now. Alot of my friends I joined with are quitting...so I guess I don't wanna play by myself even if I'm in a guild? @_@ It's really all dumb stuff, really, but I don't know,... when I make a friend via a MMO and I end up leaving that MMO that friendship seems to die LOL. I wonder if its a lack of shared interest besides the MMO that results in such a thing?
Or maybe thats just human nature in general, that we fade away and move on? orz...so depressing. I'm not sure what I want to do in general. I might start up english mabinogi but...bleh z_z. I don't know what I want to do IRL or even online...I'm starting to get away from every community I was in LOL. So dumb D8 I'm gonna end up with so little friends due to that...but I don't know why I'm starting to wither away from the communities?
I'm honestly unsure why I even update this thing, it's not like anyone reads it, not that this is all written for attention or just being read...but its kinda cool to let someone into your mind? specially since I'm not really the type to just open myself up to everything and anything.
Kinda in a slump in drawing...and I feel like I'm forcing myself to read now, theres little pleasure from it...? games never really made me happy either LOL. Except if I was playing with someone D8. It's kinda hard to explain really,...I don't hate anything, but I don't like anything alot either, it's just like I tolerate them? meh :T
don't really feel like myself right now...uh. Not much else to report.
uhh I feel better now. Kinda. I clipped my toenails and for some reason I felt less stressed out. LOL figures >_>. anyway...orz
-Hannah
Surreal
Argghh. I was reading Fahrenheit 451 before I went to bed, and in my dream I dreamed about a person named 'Montag'. There was this beast who stalked him in the dream book, he started to go insane and he couldn't leave his house due to the beast who wanted to kill him. I was reading the book in the dream and I ended up throwing it away from me saying it stressed me out and made me feel like crap. I then was afraid to leave the house out of fear of the beast and refused to leave at all or finish the book. My sister then walks into my room and spoils the ending in which the guy in the dream book commits suicide.
I know it doesn't sound scary to read, but it really scared me D8 I could actually see the beast looking for me, but no one else could see it so I was deemed insane and I thought my ending was gonna be the same as montags. I srsly felt insane in the dream and was really anxious D: crazy dream...
They say benadryl gives you really surreal dreams, does this count as one....?
Oh, and to add to it, I asked my mom last night to wake me up at 8 AM if she could..turns out I woke up at 8. ON THE DOT. oh god creepy
Not much else to report, today ( I guess later?) we're going to the skii resort for 3 days.
Seeya then.
-Hannah
I know it doesn't sound scary to read, but it really scared me D8 I could actually see the beast looking for me, but no one else could see it so I was deemed insane and I thought my ending was gonna be the same as montags. I srsly felt insane in the dream and was really anxious D: crazy dream...
They say benadryl gives you really surreal dreams, does this count as one....?
Oh, and to add to it, I asked my mom last night to wake me up at 8 AM if she could..turns out I woke up at 8. ON THE DOT. oh god creepy
Not much else to report, today ( I guess later?) we're going to the skii resort for 3 days.
Seeya then.
-Hannah
Rise Against
There's no other day except for today. You can wish with all of your heart that something in the past hadn't happened, but it still DID happen. We just need to move on with our life and keep trying. My Mother kept going on about how she wishes my sister's boyfriend hadn't been hit by a car and had his femur broken, which basically changes his life as a whole, but I told her not to because what already happened, happened and its a waste to keep saying so. It also makes it harder for the person who had it happen to move on and can cause self pity.
Self pity is very very very despicable to me, but we all do it some time or another. But with self pity, you have trouble moving on from the problem that got you down to begin with...so its a waste of energy to begin with.
It looks like FC2blog is starting to become more friendly to those whom only know english, there is a lot more english options :) Although, its easy to figure out what each button and link does (by hovering over and reading what it says in the link lol).
I also have a SOTNW blog. If you wanna read, please go to → Dear You. It's mostly SOTNW, I'll still use this for personal things. Also, with my site (denari.50web) I lost the username and password. Anyone who is linking to it can feel free to break links, I'm probably going to make a new site at a new host soon. Thanks for understanding.
I'm going to go check out a new store that came into town, so I'll see you later, maybe I'll report on the store ;p.
-Hannah
Self pity is very very very despicable to me, but we all do it some time or another. But with self pity, you have trouble moving on from the problem that got you down to begin with...so its a waste of energy to begin with.
It looks like FC2blog is starting to become more friendly to those whom only know english, there is a lot more english options :) Although, its easy to figure out what each button and link does (by hovering over and reading what it says in the link lol).
I also have a SOTNW blog. If you wanna read, please go to → Dear You. It's mostly SOTNW, I'll still use this for personal things. Also, with my site (denari.50web) I lost the username and password. Anyone who is linking to it can feel free to break links, I'm probably going to make a new site at a new host soon. Thanks for understanding.
I'm going to go check out a new store that came into town, so I'll see you later, maybe I'll report on the store ;p.
-Hannah
Christmas
merrrrry christmas eve! 8D mah team on sword of the new world! They gave out Santa hats and antlers to whoever logged on and ... I didn't see them in my inventory and bought a Santa hat and antler and spent about 1mil or so. OTL. I feel dumb. But I'll get the cash back...eventually...
I'll prolly update on christmas day but...
8)
HAVE FUN GUISE
-Hannah
